Where is he?

I would like to call your attention to a Christmas tradition. I'm not sure how far back this tradition dates, but I believe it is now ingrained into the fabric of our holiday culture. No Christmas season would be complete without it. I'm talking about the "frantic search."

You know what I'm talking about. You rush out to the mall/department store/the Wal-Mart, sometimes as a last ditch effort, to find that perfect gift (or that I'm-buying-the-first-thing-I-find gift.). Or maybe it's the search for those items and ingredients that will pull your holiday meal together. You just know that if you keep walking up and down the isles you'll find what you're looking for. Or, if you're like me, every trip to Wal-Mart is a search for the most random assortment of items that leads through every nook and cranny of the store. This is complicated by the fact that I often get intensely impatient while shopping there and get bewildered when trying to find my way through a Purgatory, I mean Wal-Mart, that I'm not used to. This happened just the other day. I needed a few things for our Wednesday night youth meeting so I decided to make a quick trip (mistake #1) to Wal-Mart. I had an idea of what I wanted, but didn't know exactly (mistake #2), so I went in to look around. I'm not used to the Princeton Wal-Mart yet, so I was almost immediately lost. Remember, I'm impatient in this place, so I almost instantly become stressed about the time I'm losing in there and am already thinking about how I need to find my way out to get on with the other things I need to do. But, I don't yet have what I need, so I keep looking, aimlessly plodding along. It felt more like groping in the dark, heart beating faster as I get more impatient.

My life can seem so much like this sometimes. A frantic search. Groping in the dark. Aimlessly wandering around. Sometimes I know what I'm looking for, but other times I don't. Sometimes the search is casual, and other times it could very well be best described as a frantic search. I frantically search for direction, answers, peace, rest, etc. I try to search for God, trying to get a sense of his presence. I get impatient, and feel like I've wasted so much time. Sometimes, it seems like the longer I search the more frantic my searching becomes. The cry of my heart sometimes is, "Where is he?" "How long is this going to take?" "How long do I have to wait for ____ ?"

I desperately wish I knew how to answer the "Where is he?" question. Not just for myself, but for others too. But like so many before me I'm still searching. Waiting. And maybe that's the key: waiting. I haven't done so well with that. I've been rushed and impatient. Frantic. But here's an Advent lesson I think: God came and found me, so I can wait on him. Search for him? Oh yes, but no longer frantically. No longer by my own abilities in an effort to impress him. God came in the form of his son. His name is Immanuel, because he reveals that God is with us. I don't have to be frantic anymore. I can at last exhale, and wait on him.

"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31